I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
