You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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