Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
