Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
