Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
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