My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
