he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
