i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
