Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
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