How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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