The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
