I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
