I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
