I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Randomize
