if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
