So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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