Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
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