I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
So much rum. So many feels.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
