We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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