Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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