Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
