So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
she peed on how many people?
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And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
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Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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