cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
