Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
