They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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