Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
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