Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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