Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
