I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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