I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
