How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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