Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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