she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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