He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Are we still banned from the library?
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Randomize
