The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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