your thong is hanging out like whoa
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize