that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize