just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
