thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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