she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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