You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
