How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
