Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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