So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
