I love black thongs
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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