Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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