i need an iv and a liver transplant
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Let the clothes fall where they may.