You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
