yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize