I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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