Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
