I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize