We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
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His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
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I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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