Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
