it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
