was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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