so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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