We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
His nipple licking is glorious
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