I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
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