i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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